Tick tock…

I feel like society has this timeline and there’s an enormous pressure to adhere to it.

You graduate from high school, then you move on to college. Once you get your Bachelor’s degree, then you get a job. Right away. By this time you should be seriously dating someone if not already engaged, maybe even married. It had better happen soon; your window of opportunity is quickly closing since you’re out in the working world now and not in the college realm. Then you’ve gotta start working on your Master’s degree. Kids will start happening somewhere in there, too. Quick, quick, quick. This is what is expected. Chances are you might not be viewed as “successful” if you don’t have these things in the right places on your timeline…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I’m at in life and how that compares to what is “normal.” I was looking at an old yearbook the other day, and I realized that 12 out of my 74 high school classmates have kids. That’s twelve new lives in this world since four short years ago. I can’t even count the number of classmates who are married or engaged, let alone in a serious relationship. It’s high. All I know is…I’m among the minority.

The comparison game has been a theme this semester. It seems that automatically, subconsciously, I compare myself to anyone and everyone I meet. While this could potentially cause me to look at myself and make changes, it usually just brings judgment. Which is so unnecessary. What does it give you? A higher (inaccurate) view of yourself, and a disdainful view of others. This stuff is hard to admit. Everyone struggles with it from time to time, but for some reason—my guess is pride—it’s something very hard to pinpoint as wrong. Even celebrity gossip is, in a way, comparison. Feeling free to judge people we don’t even know. It comes so easily, but really does us no good.

Also, I feel that I don’t fit the typical mold of a teacher.

1. First of all, I don’t wear a winter coat with fur on the hood. I won’t ever.(This seems irrelevant, but haven’t you noticed it? ALL elementary teachers wear a coat like this!).

2. I’m not an extrovert. I’m outgoing, but being around people too much can drain all my energy. I considered this for a while…what if I get burned out being around kids all day? (Especially on the extra hyperactive days). I’ve done some research, and have had 10 weeks of experience so far. The conclusion is…I’ll be fine. I get this sort of rush when I’m up there in front of the class. It’s great!

3. I don’t really see myself living the “American Dream.” Maybe there will be a husband and kids in store for me someday, eh? But maybe not. I don’t yet know. But I’m willing to do whatevs God wants me to do…even if it doesn’t fit this timeline I’ve felt pressured with lately.

That’s about all I’ve got for now! Maybe I’ll post something lighthearted and less contemplative one of these days. A craft, perhaps. It’s been far too long. We shall see!