The Bible tells me so…

Sometimes I don't know how to interpret the Bible. And it freaks me out.

I pick up the red-lettered, leather-bound mystery and think "What do I even do with this?"

Lately I've been struggling with knowing what things are still applicable today. How should I think about issues like homosexuality, slavery, women wearing head coverings in church?

I have a hard time having a consistent view of God. It's hard for me to understand the differences in people praying, even. I hear men speak reverently to God, "Almighty Father, how great thou art." But then others approach God in a different manner, like "Hey God, I thank You for this day...etc." These approaches are considerably different. My question is: does one person have a clearer, more accurate view of God?

I feel like I have so many questions, but the answers are coming very slowly. I believe there's truth in the quote that says "Learning is a continual back and forth between equilibrium and disequilibrium." I'm living in the land of disequilibrium, but I know soon enough I'll be back on the other side. God is faithful.

I am not a mom blogger.

Out of all the blogs I follow, the majority of them are mom bloggers. They post the most often, have the cutest pictures, and are just so fun to read.

Well, obviously this blog is going to be different. I’m not a mom; I’m not even married.

Sometimes it’s a little disheartening not to have a circle of blogger friends who’ll leave me comments. I know some of the people who read this blog relate to what I write about; they’ve told me. But still. It’s a different sort of blog.

I can’t post pictures of cute babies and talk about things like “Oh he never likes to take naps” or “my kids did the cutest thing today”. But I still see the world from my perspective.

Here’s some things from my life lately that I find the most interesting.

I hate doing the dishes...but I've discovered an important equation.

Techno music is best. It really gets you pumped up, and before you know it…you can see the bottom of the sink.

Every Saturday after I skate, I go to Whole Foods for breakfast. I treasure this time there. It's my time to sit, relax, enjoy a latte, people watch. I'll spend $5 on a coffee and pastry, but that's it. I dream, though...when I actually have money (a whopping teacher’s salary), I’ll start buying all organic beef. Or, there's a mom carrying her baby in an organic, dye-free cloth sling...I bet she also uses cloth diapers and buys stuff like organic fruit snacks and cheese puffs for her kids. I like that. I'll do that.

I'm at the tail-end of student teaching and I've got money fever. After going a whole semester doing everything a paid teacher does with no salary, I can almost taste the money that's to come. It has quite the metallic taste. But seriously...it'll be nice.

My cat was tired during her photo shoot. How fierce she is.

 

Have you heard of “tie-dye” eggs?? They are pretty neat. I got the idea from the Our Best Bites website at this link here. It’s simple; you take some old neckties (must be 100% pure silk), and you boil the eggs with the fabric wrapped around each one. The dye from the ties colors the eggs and they look fabulous. Here’s how mine turned out.

I can't write from the point of view of a mom, like the majority of bloggers I follow. But I like being here. It's a unique perspective. I have not run across another blog out there in the blog universe written by a student teacher. I'm among the minority. I am not  a mom blogger. But it's all good.

A chance to bloom

You know those days where you just know going into it that it will be a challenge? That was my today.

Like a lamb upon the alter, I sacrificed some of my precious sleep time yesterday to go to bible study. It was certainly well worth it. We’re going through A.W. Tozer’s “Knowledge of the Holy”, and I find my brain stretched and squeezed and strained each time. New ways to think about our God. New ways to think about how He relates to me, and how I relate to Him. How I should relate to Him. It is challenging and refreshing every time.

My last-minute lesson planning took up the rest of the evening, once I got home. My light stayed on much later than usual. And then this morning I wake up feeling tired and on-the-verge-of-sick and…nervous. Today was my first time teaching solo, and because of state testing, the schedule is screwed up and I don’t get any plan periods. Just a 35 minute break for lunch. I woke up knowing today was my test, and I just thought…bring it on.

We usually pray for easy things. Clear traffic and short grocery lines and “good days.” But with student teaching, I have come to desire the tough stuff. Because it’s reality. And I know it will help shape me into a better teacher, a better person in general. I can just picture God saying this about me, as I go through hard things: “This girl? I want her to be real. I want her love to be real. So I’ve got the perfect plan.”

Whether it’s big stuff like break-ups or small stuff like little misunderstandings (I understand these are relative), I know I can look for the good in every situation. It’s hard to do it as it’s happening, but I know I can find something good every time because when I look at the past, I see that everything God has done in my life is ultimately nothing but good. Reading Kelle Hampton’s book, Bloom, this past weekend has REALLY challenged me to look for the bright spots in every situation. To tell myself “You know what I like about right now?” To view hardships as an opportunity to, well, bloom, like the title says. You really should read the book.

And my student teaching today? There’s really no other way to put it…teaching high school ELL has really helped make me a badass. Truth. I have truly began to find my teaching style, and have discovered my expectations, and won’t let the kids get away with stuff that hinders their learning. It’s so nice to have finally reached this point! At my previous placement, my cooperating teacher never let me have total control over the class. She told me she wanted me to have a positive experience, since this particular class is so rambunctious. While I’m thankful for her kindness, she didn’t give me reality, which to me is a far greater gift than a “positive experience.” A chance to struggle, but a chance to grow and to learn.

I’ve got less than a month left before I graduate, and less than two months before I start teaching for real for real. That will be scary. That will truly be my time to bloom.

And how do you say that in Vietnamese?

I have a newfound appreciation for language, now that I’m teaching English to non-native speakers.

Seriously…think about it. Language is so complex. A toddler learns with ease…how? Is there truly a “language acquisition device” in our brains? I don’t even know how many languages there are in the world. 5,000? More? Maybe so. I never thought the biblical story of the tower of Babel was much of anything when I was a kid. Just a bunch of people foolishly trying to build a tower to heaven. But God is so incredibly creative! I’m glad there are lots of languages. I love hearing so many in the classroom each day.

I also think of all the ways we play with language and am amazed. Words with Friends? Crossword puzzles? What about puns, hink-pinks, rebuses, hangman, acrostic poems? Not to mention everyday language. I love the freedom in choosing the perfect way to say something.

“The weather is quite mild today.”
or…
“The sunshine is just perfect.”
or maybe…
“It sure is a beeeeea-U-tiful day!”
You can say it anyway you want it. That’s the way you need it. Anyway you want it. (I think that’s Journey…?) :)

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I’ve also noticed the difference punctuation makes in emotion.
Exclamation points can be so chipper! Sometimes more than necessary, even!

I am doing great!

Periods can sound so dull. And lifeless.

I am doing great.

Ellipses make a thought sound incomplete…like you have more to say…but aren’t sure you should say it…

I am doing great…

And no punctuation at the end? I think it makes a person look lazy. Like they don’t even take the time to consider which type of punctuation to use, which would convey the correct emotion.

I am doing great

Maybe I’m a nerd. But I think it is just so intriguing how our language works!
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One more thing. Today in class, I was teaching new vocabulary words to my Level 2 ELL students, when one of my Vietnamese students, ya know…let one. It was really loud. And everyone just lost it. I couldn’t help but laugh, too! There was no hope for refocus for a while. So I just let us all have a good laugh (even the kid who did it). He was laughing so hard he had to get up and get a tissue to wipe the tears from his eyes. The students were almost calmed down again when I asked “How do you say that in Vietnamese?” Then the laughter started up again. It was just so funny! I didn’t know that my genuine curiosity about their word for farting would cause such an uproar. Ha!
Even though I was unsure about teaching high school, I have found that I love coming to school each day and teaching them. They have helped me see our language in a whole new way. And they make me laugh. It’s a good life with the 9-12th grade English Language Learners. :)