Real problems.

It was the 100th day of school today, which, for kindergarten, is a huge deal. I had lots of fun stuff planned! It was going well until lunch. I checked my voicemail, only to hear the words “…complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament…” over my teammate’s chatter.

I envisioned myself becoming this hardcore Colorado person when I first moved here. Skiing, hiking, whitewater rafting, rock climbing, the like.

Next month my roommate and I are moving to a townhome. We’re gaining 1 1/2 bathrooms, 500 extra feet, and…stairs. Perfect timing.

It’s also tough to realize that 18 out of 19 facebook friends who commented on my status with a concern live far away, not in this state. It’s hard not having many friends here yet.

I’ve seen ACL replacement surgery recovery when my sister went though it, and it’s pretty extensive. Apparently you aren’t back to being fully active for 9-12 months. Just when I got back into advancing my skating, too. It’s also my right leg, so driving will be gone for a long time.

It’s hard to find the positives in this, but I’m super thankful for insight I’ve gotten from Sia. It’s simple- some people have real problems. Like no rice or no legs. The album art for her record even shows this: a girl getting rained on is unhappy with life, while a girl with no legs still keeps on smiling. The irony. We think we’ve got it bad, but some people have real problems.

There’s also a random video from Sia ages ago on youtube that shows this, too!

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I think that’s gonna be my mantra through all of this. There’ll be some greater good.

The year has begun.

So most bloggers write a really self-reflective post on January 1st or shortly after thinking through what the previous year has brought, and what they would like to see come out of the new year. Welp, we are already halfway through January (like 1/24 through the whole year actually!) and I still haven’t produced one of those posts. But I should probably try. Here’s a break-down of 2012…

January- Began student teaching in 3rd grade and moved back in with my parents.

February- Learned about the chaos that is Valentine’s Day in an elementary school setting.

March- Started my second student teaching placement in 9-12 ESL

April- Applied for a gazillion jobs! Played the waiting game.

May- Graduated! Got a job! Found out I was moving to another state!

June- Started teaching summer school (3rd grade & K-1st drama).

July- Went to every garage sale in town. Did the Color Run! Went to the farmer’s market every week.

August- Started teaching a new grade level (Kdg) in a new state (CO). Met all new people. Made new friends.

September- Went Colorado camping for the first time ever! Hiking, too.

October- Turned 23. Had my first parent-teacher conferences. Learned how to party it up Halloween-style in Kindergarten.

November- Deepened my new friendships. Tried new things.

December: Went Colorado skiing for the first time ever!

 

It’s funny the things that stick out to me as I sit here typing this. I feel like these were the “big” things in my life this past year, but really? A lot of times it’s the small things that are bigger. So while I may have summed it up with a couple of grander events, a lot of the in-between things helped make 2012. Things I like to record on this blog, whenever that is.

I still hold to my (un)resolution of a few years ago, here. I can’t say I’ve excelled, but the least I can do is renew my resolve. To seek God more and ask him the hard questions.

And soon enough I’ll be back to feeling the pressures of new year’s/determination/resolutions/reflections, to post again while looking back. I just hope I do that oftener than January 1st. Here’s to 2013!

Let’s get praisy.

So there’s this blogger I follow—Jami Nato—and she’s absolutely hilario. She speaks truth like a gangsta. And she’s really creative. So she came up with this thing she hashtagged on instragram called #letsgetpraisy. Basically you take popular secular songs and find the gospel in them. Genius! The link to her post about it is here.

She started a competition to see who could come up with the best #letsgetpraisy quotes. I took part with this:

It’s based on Romans 8:37-39, where Paul states that we are more than conquerors through Christ. There may be stuff like, oh ya know…life, death, angels, demons, the present, the future, crazy powers, height, depth…but because of Christ we are like Titanium and are pretty much bulletproof. Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ.

So if you would like to vote for this little creation, it’s here. You can also check out all the other entries…they are awesome! I will never think of radio the same way again.

Weekend.

Last weekend I had one of the most enjoyable weekends I’ve had since moving to Colorado. Seriously, almost everything about it was perfect. That is rare! No school work involved whatsoever. Friday night I hung out with a group of friends and played board games and ate food. It was so good getting to know more new people! Games are just about the perfect activity because they require talking and are fun…I’m not so much of a movie watcher (I think I have movie/tv ADD), but I’ll play games anytime.

Saturday morning I slept in and didn’t wake up to an alarm! It was glorious. I cleaned my apartment which is pretty therapeutic, at least for me. Then I got in my car and just drove and stopped wherever looked interesting. I found so many good sales. I had fun shopping for prizes for my Kindergarten treasure chest, including awesome stuff like fake moustaches and  glasses and glow-in-the-dark aliens. The only downside to the afternoon was that I found out my car is leaking antifreeze/coolant, so I was “stranded” at the mall (how awful, right?) while I waited for my car to cool so I could check things out. I ended the evening at some friends’ where they found my radiator leak and calmed my worries. We partied it up with a little Fruit Ninja on the tv and I woke up with ridiculously sore arms the next morning. :)

If you don’t really care to read about my weekend events step-by-step, you just go ahead and close the page now, peeps. I want to record it, sort of like a journal, so I can look back and remember the wonderfulness. It was so good!

Sunday my roommate and I went to breakfast at a cute little cafe with another friend and then on to church. I asked around to see if anyone wanted to go skating with me that afternoon, but I had no takers. I guess people aren’t as passionate about it as I am. ;) So I just went down the road about a mile, where all the Olympians in this city train, and checked out the public skate session. It was one of the most fun and relaxing practice sessions I have ever had, not even kidding! It was cheap and not crowded; there were people of all ages and levels there, also. Back in Omaha I always felt judged when I would practice because I’m kind of old to be learning new things along with the little bitty kids. But here there were old grandpas learning three-turns along with the toddlers and everyone in between. I forgot how much I missed skating. I am certain that an old dog can indeed learn new tricks…so I have decided I am going to start taking lessons again! I am way beyond excited. :)

I wrapped up the weekend with homemade tacos at another friend’s house, probably the best tacos I’ve ever eaten. This weekend was such a blessing. It’s amazing how God knows exactly what you’re needing and delivers. He can dish up a weekend full of sweetness better than I could, or anyone else.

The Bible tells me so…

Sometimes I don't know how to interpret the Bible. And it freaks me out.

I pick up the red-lettered, leather-bound mystery and think "What do I even do with this?"

Lately I've been struggling with knowing what things are still applicable today. How should I think about issues like homosexuality, slavery, women wearing head coverings in church?

I have a hard time having a consistent view of God. It's hard for me to understand the differences in people praying, even. I hear men speak reverently to God, "Almighty Father, how great thou art." But then others approach God in a different manner, like "Hey God, I thank You for this day...etc." These approaches are considerably different. My question is: does one person have a clearer, more accurate view of God?

I feel like I have so many questions, but the answers are coming very slowly. I believe there's truth in the quote that says "Learning is a continual back and forth between equilibrium and disequilibrium." I'm living in the land of disequilibrium, but I know soon enough I'll be back on the other side. God is faithful.

Limbo

Limbo. No, not like the crazy dance where you bend over backwards so you can go under the stick thingy. I remember always trying to do the Limbo on roller skates while at the roller rink as a kid. It seems to me that was basically asking for someone to make an emergency trip to the ER with a split-open head. Thankfully that never happened when I was there!
But I digress. This post is not about going under a stick. It’s about being in limbo. The Merriam-Webster Learner’s Dictionary (perfect for English Language Learners like I work with!) puts it in very plain terms:

in limbo
                  1 : in a forgotten or ignored place, state, or situation
                  2 : in an uncertain or undecided state or condition

I thought college was a rough transition period of one’s life. Yes, it’s true, it is difficult being in a place where you aren’t a kid living with your parents anymore, but still are not yet an independent adult. But really, when you are on campus with roughly 6,000 other people your age in the same stage of life, you have a lot of people to relate with.
Fast forward to student teaching. I don’t really identify with college students anymore. I mean, I don’t go to class, have finals or midterms, or write 15-page papers. I’m not really there anymore. But at the same time, I do not identify with adults in the working world. In the teacher’s lounge at school, much of the time I just sat there and didn’t say anything. I can always ask questions, but I have nothing to add when they are talking about house payments, social security/retirement (I haven’t even started teaching yet, for Pete’s sake!), parenting, and little things like whether or not they had their pictures taken before or after their wedding ceremony. I feel so far removed from all of this. I feel like I’m in limbo.

So what do I do with this? Do I just bide my time here in this little realm and wait until finally I emerge out on the other side?

I know God has me here for a reason.

There are lessons to learn, some which I already have learned, and others that are yet to come. Trust is a huge one. This season of my life has revealed how little I do trust God with my plans, hopes, and dreams…quite the opposite of how much I thought I trusted before taking the steps to moving beyond college. Wanting to know how God wants to use me causes me to seek Him even more, which is 100% wonderful. During transition/unknown times of life, a common verse to hear is Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I love that verse, but for me it has often just stopped there. The next two verses have been SO good to realize as of late. Verses 12 & 13 go on to say “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” What does it look like to seek God with all my heart? I don’t know how much I’ve done this in the past. It is so encouraging that this is a promise, a for-sure thing. I can rest in the fact that God will reveal His plans to me, that I will know what decisions to make when those times come. Until then, I will continue to learn what it means to seek Him with my whole heart. I think that’s what limbo is for.

On a final note…please enjoy the lovely Limbo song I picked out just for this post. I couldn’t help it! :)