The year has begun.

So most bloggers write a really self-reflective post on January 1st or shortly after thinking through what the previous year has brought, and what they would like to see come out of the new year. Welp, we are already halfway through January (like 1/24 through the whole year actually!) and I still haven’t produced one of those posts. But I should probably try. Here’s a break-down of 2012…

January- Began student teaching in 3rd grade and moved back in with my parents.

February- Learned about the chaos that is Valentine’s Day in an elementary school setting.

March- Started my second student teaching placement in 9-12 ESL

April- Applied for a gazillion jobs! Played the waiting game.

May- Graduated! Got a job! Found out I was moving to another state!

June- Started teaching summer school (3rd grade & K-1st drama).

July- Went to every garage sale in town. Did the Color Run! Went to the farmer’s market every week.

August- Started teaching a new grade level (Kdg) in a new state (CO). Met all new people. Made new friends.

September- Went Colorado camping for the first time ever! Hiking, too.

October- Turned 23. Had my first parent-teacher conferences. Learned how to party it up Halloween-style in Kindergarten.

November- Deepened my new friendships. Tried new things.

December: Went Colorado skiing for the first time ever!

 

It’s funny the things that stick out to me as I sit here typing this. I feel like these were the “big” things in my life this past year, but really? A lot of times it’s the small things that are bigger. So while I may have summed it up with a couple of grander events, a lot of the in-between things helped make 2012. Things I like to record on this blog, whenever that is.

I still hold to my (un)resolution of a few years ago, here. I can’t say I’ve excelled, but the least I can do is renew my resolve. To seek God more and ask him the hard questions.

And soon enough I’ll be back to feeling the pressures of new year’s/determination/resolutions/reflections, to post again while looking back. I just hope I do that oftener than January 1st. Here’s to 2013!

I am not a mom blogger.

Out of all the blogs I follow, the majority of them are mom bloggers. They post the most often, have the cutest pictures, and are just so fun to read.

Well, obviously this blog is going to be different. I’m not a mom; I’m not even married.

Sometimes it’s a little disheartening not to have a circle of blogger friends who’ll leave me comments. I know some of the people who read this blog relate to what I write about; they’ve told me. But still. It’s a different sort of blog.

I can’t post pictures of cute babies and talk about things like “Oh he never likes to take naps” or “my kids did the cutest thing today”. But I still see the world from my perspective.

Here’s some things from my life lately that I find the most interesting.

I hate doing the dishes...but I've discovered an important equation.

Techno music is best. It really gets you pumped up, and before you know it…you can see the bottom of the sink.

Every Saturday after I skate, I go to Whole Foods for breakfast. I treasure this time there. It's my time to sit, relax, enjoy a latte, people watch. I'll spend $5 on a coffee and pastry, but that's it. I dream, though...when I actually have money (a whopping teacher’s salary), I’ll start buying all organic beef. Or, there's a mom carrying her baby in an organic, dye-free cloth sling...I bet she also uses cloth diapers and buys stuff like organic fruit snacks and cheese puffs for her kids. I like that. I'll do that.

I'm at the tail-end of student teaching and I've got money fever. After going a whole semester doing everything a paid teacher does with no salary, I can almost taste the money that's to come. It has quite the metallic taste. But seriously...it'll be nice.

My cat was tired during her photo shoot. How fierce she is.

 

Have you heard of “tie-dye” eggs?? They are pretty neat. I got the idea from the Our Best Bites website at this link here. It’s simple; you take some old neckties (must be 100% pure silk), and you boil the eggs with the fabric wrapped around each one. The dye from the ties colors the eggs and they look fabulous. Here’s how mine turned out.

I can't write from the point of view of a mom, like the majority of bloggers I follow. But I like being here. It's a unique perspective. I have not run across another blog out there in the blog universe written by a student teacher. I'm among the minority. I am not  a mom blogger. But it's all good.

Limbo

Limbo. No, not like the crazy dance where you bend over backwards so you can go under the stick thingy. I remember always trying to do the Limbo on roller skates while at the roller rink as a kid. It seems to me that was basically asking for someone to make an emergency trip to the ER with a split-open head. Thankfully that never happened when I was there!
But I digress. This post is not about going under a stick. It’s about being in limbo. The Merriam-Webster Learner’s Dictionary (perfect for English Language Learners like I work with!) puts it in very plain terms:

in limbo
                  1 : in a forgotten or ignored place, state, or situation
                  2 : in an uncertain or undecided state or condition

I thought college was a rough transition period of one’s life. Yes, it’s true, it is difficult being in a place where you aren’t a kid living with your parents anymore, but still are not yet an independent adult. But really, when you are on campus with roughly 6,000 other people your age in the same stage of life, you have a lot of people to relate with.
Fast forward to student teaching. I don’t really identify with college students anymore. I mean, I don’t go to class, have finals or midterms, or write 15-page papers. I’m not really there anymore. But at the same time, I do not identify with adults in the working world. In the teacher’s lounge at school, much of the time I just sat there and didn’t say anything. I can always ask questions, but I have nothing to add when they are talking about house payments, social security/retirement (I haven’t even started teaching yet, for Pete’s sake!), parenting, and little things like whether or not they had their pictures taken before or after their wedding ceremony. I feel so far removed from all of this. I feel like I’m in limbo.

So what do I do with this? Do I just bide my time here in this little realm and wait until finally I emerge out on the other side?

I know God has me here for a reason.

There are lessons to learn, some which I already have learned, and others that are yet to come. Trust is a huge one. This season of my life has revealed how little I do trust God with my plans, hopes, and dreams…quite the opposite of how much I thought I trusted before taking the steps to moving beyond college. Wanting to know how God wants to use me causes me to seek Him even more, which is 100% wonderful. During transition/unknown times of life, a common verse to hear is Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I love that verse, but for me it has often just stopped there. The next two verses have been SO good to realize as of late. Verses 12 & 13 go on to say “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” What does it look like to seek God with all my heart? I don’t know how much I’ve done this in the past. It is so encouraging that this is a promise, a for-sure thing. I can rest in the fact that God will reveal His plans to me, that I will know what decisions to make when those times come. Until then, I will continue to learn what it means to seek Him with my whole heart. I think that’s what limbo is for.

On a final note…please enjoy the lovely Limbo song I picked out just for this post. I couldn’t help it! :)