To taste and see.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! - Psalm 34:8

Lately, this verse above has been woven in my mind. A lot of things have happened in the last couple weeks that have caused me to change. Things have been ripped away from me, which at first was very painful. I have never hurt worse in all of my life. I had put my trust in these things, counting on them to transpire and blossom into what I had been dreaming.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

You see, when you control something, you often don't leave room for God to take charge of it, too. You shove him out of the way. As much as you plan and scheme and dream, if it's not what God wants for your life, you will not be happy. No matter how much you desperately try.

So back to the verse.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

I want so badly to taste and see the greatness of God...not just little bits and pieces here and there, but everything. I want to see how beautiful my life can be when I fully trust him with every aspect of it. In letting go of things I put so much trust in, the only one left to trust is Jesus. When I trust him and let him love me, I will finally be able to taste and see the goodness of the Lord. I want so badly to be filled with his love, so that I will not be able to stop it from overflowing- I want to learn to love others unconditionally. I've learned that putting my trust in any other thing will only end in disappointment. Nothing can satisfy like Jesus.

It's scary to have faith in something that you don't know...something with no tangible proof. To people who have never tasted this goodness, or who have never seen that everything but God leads to emptiness, it seems crazy. Putting your entire trust in Jesus doesn't mean letting him have control of just one part of your life...like your job...but everything...your job, your relationships with those around you, what you spend your time doing, and every single thing in between. It's risky. It seems crazy. Things might not go the way you originally planned.

But it's totally worth it.

How wonderful it will be to look back and be filled with pure joy at what God has done in your life...simply because you gave it all to him.

So many lies...

Do you know how much God loves you?

Sometimes I forget completely. It is so easy to forget.

This video is amazing. It makes me cry! I so easily forget how much Satan wants us to believe his lies and to lose sight of God and his unending love for us. This video is a little graphic, but no more so than what is on TV (at least that's what I think). Watching it definitely helped me a lot, and you can see how powerful it is!

Here is the link:

The Arrows Band

Be blessed!

Black and White

Black and White

The colors swirl incessantly in my head

A black watercolor, a white oil paint

They churn and turn about, never mixing, always shifting

Two emotions, these are

How can there be two so different, but yet they inhabit the mind concurrently?

Forget the bodywash.

Cleanse your body with shampoo.

Let the water run so hot it feels cold

Against your skin.

A sheep

Its wool

With it I weave a tapestry, completely and solely white

Without a trace of tainted black

But the black still dances in my head

A bare, white wall

It screams excruciatingly as I pass it

With a black marker, I cover it

So the white no longer looks through

And the black leaves my mind

But oh, the mind

There is no black, no white

Only empty thoughts that soar higher than a bird

But that emptiness feels good

And only then am I truly satisfied

Caterpillars!

Have you seen my Sammy the Caterpillar video?
I made it a few weeks ago for my Technology in the Classroom class. ALL of it was done by me...I am pretty proud!

Here's the link:

Sammy the Caterpillar

Oh! By the way, I have pictures with a REAL caterpillar. Her name is Priscilla. :)

Here's Priscilla:

And Priscilla with me.

And Priscilla with her frass. Did you know caterpillar poop is called frass? I did not, until I read about it in a book when I was researching for my Sammy video. Gross!

It's okay, Priscilla. You're still pretty.

Anyway, enough about caterpillars. Go check out my video!

Lots of free time...

The semester is drawing to a close. Quickly.

You would think I would have a lot to do. This is hardly the case...

In reality, I have tons of stuff to do. But none of it can be started on yet...I have yet to take the notes for my final tests, and to show my professor my final paper topic. I can't start researching or writing until then. So this means...free time. And lots of it.

Yesterday I made homemade gift tags! I got the idea out of the Omaha World Herald- it's featuring 25 days of crafts. This one was so simple, and very cheap. I got everything on sale at Hobby Lobby for 5 bucks!

I made snowmen...

Reindeer...

And gingerbread men.

I think they're super cute. And even more personal since they're homemade.

I even have lots of extra scraps...hmmm. I can make some more fun stuff. It's not like I've haven't got time. :)

Crying

These silent tears have never spoken louder.

Encased inside, they stream so freely with constraint.

To be beautifully broken, free from the deficient comprehension

That to one is incurable.

The tears course down it in its distortions

It is possessed by the wretched

Belonging to the wretched

True as a constant, it remains.

The tears come, only as useless jewels to brighten it

The wretched despises this coming, a fleeting escape from the imperfection

Never lasting

Always constructing more beauty for another dawn

To satisfy the desperate.

These tears leave remembrance of this faultlessness

Streaked across the undying unsightliness

To be removed, forgotten, unwanted

Until they come again

To beautify it.

Until another dawn.

How My God Provides

I don't deserve the love that God gives me.

I am such a whore. Yes, a whore, in the sense that I give my love so freely to everything but the One who died for me. I so easily forget this sacrifice, and of that I am ashamed.

But God, the One who rules over all the universe, does not forget me. He loves me so much that He beckons me back to Him, even when I have rejected Him again and again. He does not beg or plead sternly with me, but with a still, small voice, saying "Come back to me. It is only I who can provide what you are looking for. I am the giver of true love, peace, and joy. You will find your rest in Me."

He loves me enough to never give up on me, even when I try so hard to find peace and joy in everything except Him. Only He is the source of purity, and of pure love, peace, and joy. No other thing can calm my fears and ease my distress like Jesus. No person or circumstance can provide authentic joy, with sadness removed and discontent banished. And no other can give the true love that Jesus can- unconditional and everlasting. He provides all this for me, just as He provides the still, small voice beckoning me back to Him when I stray.

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Psalm 63:1-8

O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You. My soul thirsts for You.
My flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory.
Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips,
when I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night.
For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.