My space.

I usually don’t consider myself an overly emotional person. I don’t cry during movies, books, etc. Yes, I do tend to act on my emotions, but I don’t feel that they are often too strong or overwhelming.

So when I moved home from college, I was pretty surprised at my emotional response. I’m not going to glam it up- I bawled the whole drive home. I was definitely a mess. It was the craziest feeling; I didn’t feel that way at all when I moved to college, so I didn’t expect it when I moved away. It felt like I was going through a break-up. Ya know, the feeling where all you want to do is cry all the time and your mind is stuck thinking about the person (or in my case, place!). I was seriously thinking “Oh my gosh, it feels like I’m breaking up with Kearney, NE!” I knew it was a good thing I was feeling all those emotions, because it meant I had a positive college experience, but still. It was awful. Thankfully, the farther east I drove, the more I transitioned from my college world into my familiar home world. I can say now it’s great living here, and I haven’t cried about missing college since! What a relief.

There are lots of perks to living at home while finishing school to get your degree. Saving money…that’s the biggest plus I can think of. I wrote about some of the other reasons here. More specifically, I love living in my childhood bedroom. It’s familiar and comforting, and I have all my stuff in one place! Who woulda thought.

I thought I’d share just a couple of my favorite things about my childhood room. I’ve got quite the 22 year collection of things. Here are some of the best!

This is a piggy bank I got sometime ago. I decided to add some accessories- my prom queen crown, and blinged-out sunglasses from JAX this summer. :)

I love globes. And maps. I hope someday to have a pull-down map in my house…that would be sweet. This globe right here is really old, and pretty cool. Not accurate- Russia is nowhere to be found, only the USSR- but I still love it.

I also love my bookshelf. I’d have to say the overwhelming theme of my books would be either education or figure skating.  Besides books, I’ve got some skating figurines, Matryoshka dolls, and other random sentiments.

Ahhh…my flannel snowman sheets. Love these! It’s so great to come home to my comfy bed after being exhausted by third graders the whole day. :)

I also loved having this girl in my room this weekend! I miss seeing her everyday, but I am thankful she is still close by. <3

2012...bring it.

There is just something about the promise of starting over new. It's so refreshing!

A time to contemplate, to reflect, to hope. To think over lessons learned and imagine ways you'll be different in the up-and-coming future.

2012 is THE year. The year I've thought about for so many years. The year of changes: graduating for good, starting a career, welcoming a record number of unknowns into my life. I'm excited. Excited to experience newness, to be used by God for things past imagination, and to fail, even. I've learned both in lectures and in life experiences that failure leads to success. Every time I think about the number of times I'm going to make mistakes this next year I have an urge to do this awkward laugh. It's hard to convey in text...it would be better if you could just hear it. Kinda like a snort, but with a little chortle/guffaw at the end. That's it. Embarrassing, I know. But I think of how I reassure students that it's okay to make mistakes, and how it's from mistakes that we really learn. Mistakes are kinda uncomfortable, but they are short-lived. Good stuff comes from them.

So...I think if I were to make a resolution, it would be along the lines of: I will look for ways  to grow (and eventually have success) when I have failed.

Short and sweet and to the point.

Gasp! I only have 5 minutes left of this year. Here's to my last post of 2011...Happy New Year!

Mry hita!

…possibly the strangest post title yet.

But there is a back story.

I was writing little notes in gift tags for my friends the other day. You know how sometimes you can write using different colors for every other word? Well I was writing this: Merry Christmas! and I had only written the red letters, so it said:

M r y  h i t a !

My sister happened to walk by at that time, and looked over at what I was writing. She was confused, but didn’t take the time to ask me what I was doing…she just laughed at me instead. Typical! But it was pretty funny. And because of it, my sister and I had our own personal Christmas greeting for each other this year! [pronunciation: murr-ee hit-tuh]

So I hope everyone had a very mry hita, or maybe one with all the letters in place, even. I know I really enjoyed going to the candlelight service last night and the service at my church this morning. I loved singing so many carols! And both services provided just what I was needing—a time to reflect.

Christmas eve is always so enjoyable. Wonderful food, a good time with my extended family, lots of memories to be made. I haven’t really liked Christmas morning for several years now, though. When I was little, Christmas eve/morning was always such a magical time. I remember riding home from my grandma’s house on Christmas eve, wondering if we would make it home before midnight so Santa would continue to go unseen (even though I really wanted to catch a glance). I always searched the sky the whole way home for a glimpse of his sleigh. I would wake up the next morning just knowing it was a special day like no other. Something had happened during the night while I was asleep. Something beyond Santa’s arrival. Jesus had been born! I don’t know if many people feel a different in the day, but I really did. And of course, my sister and I would always beg our parents to hurry up so we could open presents. Everything just felt so magical.

Now, though, I don’t feel the same way at all. Christmas eve is still fun, but Christmas morning just feels like such a let-down. I guess there is just such a contrast to all the fun festivities from the night before, and also all the days of Advent leading up to Christmas. The fact that the Christmas season is over starts to set in. At church this morning, it seemed like another other Sunday morning. Yes, the service was a little bit different, and there were several Christmas greetings exchanged, but it wasn’t drastically different or more special. I do admit I feel a little jealous when I hear people talking about the fancy dinners they have planned. When I got home today, I had some reheated leftover casserole. One year my dad, my sister, and I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch because my mom was working. That was the most depressing Christmas morning for me in all. It just isn’t special for me anymore.

I was bothered by my down-in-the-dumps demeanor today. Was it really that bad? I mean…really? I thought about my cousin who was helping at a homeless shelter this Christmas. I actually have it really good when thinking about this. I have a house. I have food. It may not be leg of lamb or carved turkey or homemade soup (not even reheated), but I don’t ever wonder where my next meal will come from, or if it will come. I have lots of presents under the tree, even if they don’t produce a magical feeling in me! Goodness, all these things are just extras, really! I forget the root of it all. The only part of our celebration that has lasting value. Jesus. His birth, his sacrifice for us. Immanuel—God is with us. I so easily take that for granted.

So I can safely say I had a very mry hita. I know the value of Christmas is not measured by how it makes me feel, thank goodness! Christmas has so many wonderful aspects, and I will welcome them all back next year!

Even Christmas morning.

Christmas is here, bringing good cheer

Christmas is tomorrow. Whoa, this season has gone by fast.

It’s been delightful, for the most part! All the traditions have faithfully shown up and I welcomed them wholeheartedly. Tree decorating, cookie baking, gingerbread house building, ugly sweater wearing, Christmas caroling, lights viewing, present wrapping, gift exchanging, piano playing, card writing, merry making. It’s been grand.

But I need time to slow down. Time to reflect. It’s not that I’m missing the main point of Christmas—I’m not. But I want to grow in my understanding of the Christmas story, and, ultimately, understanding of God’s love for us. I feel like as each Christmas season comes and goes, I have a deeper and better understanding of it. I’ll never be able to understand it fully, but I am so glad I am able to keep growing, and not stay in the same place. I want to make sure I continue that growth this year…every day in between…but especially at this time set aside for the reflection of God’s gift to us. The way I see it, this growth is two-fold—for our benefit, and for God’s…He gets glory!

So excited to be able to celebrate tonight and tomorrow, too. Merry Christmas!

Good stuff

I’m slacking at this blogging business.

But…I’m not slacking at teacher business.

I have written so many lesson plans this semester it seems unreal. But I know it pales in comparison to what I’ll be doing next semester…when I student teach. :) And guess what? I now know I’ll be student teaching in Lincoln!

I’ll be sad to transition from Kearney to home…from dorms to family…but it will be a good change. At least living at home isn’t some big scary unknown. I do have experience doing that—about 18 or so years of it! So it will be good.

Here’s my top 10 reasons why I will like living at home next semester:

10. I’ll be so close to both Omaha and Lincoln. I’ve missed that, quite a lot.

9. My dog, Gabby!

8. My four kitties. They are SO FLUFFY at this time of year.

7. I could take bubble baths everyday, if I wanted.

6. All my stuff will be in one place. I won’t have to be like “Oh shoot, that’s at home…”

5. I can go to the pancake supper at my grandma’s church. I haven’t been home for it for such a long time!

4. I will be able to go to all my sister’s band concerts and such.

3. I can visit my friends on the eastern part of the state, whom I don’t see much.

2. There is always good, good-for-you food around. And I don’t have to walk outside to another building to get it.

1. I get to see my family more often! Both immediate and extended.

 

So there ya go. Good stuff coming up!

Some of my favorites!

You may or may not know this about me, but I love figure skating. A whole lot. :)

The extent of most people’s figure skating knowledge is the Olympics. The majority of people I know can say they enjoy watching the events every 4 years, but that’s about it. What about Nationals? Or Worlds? Or the Grand Prix? I think not many people know these events even exist.

I’m thankful the skating season is pretty long- from October to March. It’s great to be able to watch it on TV: there are some televised events, but overall…skating is not represented as it should be. Unlike football. But I’ll say no more about that. :) I’m just happy to say we are in the midst of the Grand Prix right now!

I thought I’d post a couple of my very favorite skating performances from the last couple of years. It’s been really hard to narrow them down. I’m just so thankful for YouTube. Seriously…where we would be without it? I’d still be recording every event possible, and grieving over the countless events that aren’t shown on TV.

I’m gonna share some good stuff with you. I’ll give you 5 fabulous videos…enjoy!

Sasha Cohen’s Olympic short program [2006]: Dark Eyes

Johnny Weir short program at the Cup of Russia [2009]: Fallen Angel

Meryl Davis & Charlie White original dance at Nationals [2010]: Indian Folk Dance

Irina Slutskaya Olympic short program [2006]: Totentanz

Nathan Chen U.S. Nationals [2010]: Peter and the Wolf

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There’s been a shift.

Suddenly, it’s November.

Suddenly we’re in the season of fall that is much closer to winter than summer. With that, I am realizing how little time this semester has left…how close I am to not being in the safe, nurturing realm of college…and close I am to having to grow up for real. I have to admit, I am getting kind of freaked out! Some days I feel an even mix of nervousness and excitement, but some days that excitement is just scared away. Part of me just wants to start my student teaching right now, so I will know exactly how it’s going to be, instead of sitting here imagining the worst…because that’s what I do.

Suddenly life is going to get a whole lot different.

Suddenly I will be sure of very few things.