Briony & Me

I've just finished a marvelous book, Atonement, by Ian McEwan. It was very well-written, with just enough descriptive words to make sure it wasn't overly straightforward, without it being horribly wordy. The main character is Briony Tallis, who is 13 years old for the majority of the novel. She is the one character who continued to draw me in- whenever the point of view switched to any other character, I read a little more quickly, in hopes that I could reach another part of the book where it would once again be told from her mind. I found myself connecting with so many of the insights that Briony discovered, and I think I'm quite a bit like her. One of my favorite parts happens when she contemplates her vast and complex insight of the world around her. She marvels at it and wonders if others share the same abilities. The strange thing is, I have so often wondered the very same thing. Are my senses, which seem so keen and adept, really the same as everyone else's? Or do they hold some sort of superiority over the senses of others? Here is what Briony wonders:

These thoughts were as familiar to her, and as comforting, as the precise configuration of her knees, their matching but competing, symmetrical and reversible, look. A second thought always followed the first, one mystery bred another: Was everyone else really as alive as she was? For example, did her sister really matter to herself, was she as valuable to herself as Briony was? Was being Cecilia just as vivid an affair as being Briony? Did her sister also have a real self concealed behind a breaking wave, and did she spend time thinking about it, with a finger held up to her face? Did everybody, including her father, Betty, Hardman? If the answer was yes, then the world, the social world, was unbearably complicated, with two billion voices, and everyone's thoughts striving in equal importance and everyone's claim on life as intense, and everyone thinking they were unique, when no one was. Briony was surrounded by machines, intelligent and pleasant enought on the outside, but lacking the bright and private inside feeling she had. This was sinister and lonely, as well as unlikely. For, though it offended her sense of order, she knew it was overwhelmingly probable that everyone else had thoughts like hers. She knew this, but only in a rather arid way; she didn't really feel it.

I have felt the very same way, when overwhelmed by my senses and emotions, although I could never get it into words. Certainly others share it, like authors, musicians, and artists, but what about all the other people on this earth who do not happen to be such? I am sure that everyone feels very much, very strongly, although it is not always evident. Perhaps some people express it in ways not thought of, in subtlety and nuance. And perhaps even more take pleasure in not flaunting the complexities of their minds, unlike the many poets and artists. Perhaps, but because of this nature, it can never be certain.

¡Hace calor!

It is hot. Now I'm normally a person who is cold about 95% of the time, so in order for me to complain about the heat, it must be very hot. But not only is it hot, it is incredibly muggy. How interesting the word "muggy" is. I would bet some of my international friends, whose first language is not English, and who may not know the meaning of the word, they might think "Muggy- like a mug?"

Like this?

Or perhaps this type of mug?

Or maybe this?

It really is a strange word. When I think of muggy, however, I think of long, hot, sticky days of St. Louis, where everything is black- from the paved road to the people. Or I think of the county fair, (which I cannot wait for!), getting dusty, dirty, sweaty, sticky, but having FUN. Or playing outside at my grandma's house until she calls us in for a snack- watermelon, honeydew, bing cherries- oh so many delicious summer foods. And of course you cannot forget swimming! My mom waits for the hottest day, slathers on the sunscreen until her face is pasty and she looks like a ghost, and we hit the pool. Afterwards, we always get candy bars (Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme for me!) because swimming always takes so much energy and makes you hungry. Ahhhh, the lazy, hazy days of summer. Blissful, carefree, and incredibly fun, no matter what activity, no matter how muggy. :)

A real date!

My parents are not exactly the most laid back people you will meet. At least, my mom isn't. Because of this, I have not gone on a real date with my boyfriend for...a very long time. I believe the last time we actually went somewhere other than either of our parents' houses, by ourselves, was possibly a year ago, when we went to the Double D Ranch (I had won dinner and a show for 2 at Post Prom). A whole whopping year later, we were allowed to go on another date! (This time, Jesse had gotten a $25 gift card to Texas Roadhouse for his birthday). This was quite exciting- a real date! I met Jesse at the restaurant after he got off work, and we had a lot of fun. The food was delicious and Texas Roadhouse just has a fun atmosphere, with the waiters and waitresses periodically line dancing and such. :) We finished eating in only about an hour, so we decided to go to the Brass Armadillo, since neither of us had been there. With so much to look at, we stayed there almost until closing! I bought two cute little figurines of a boy and a girl ice skating (to add to my collection!) and he found some CDs that he had been wanting. All in all, it was a lot of fun! We took some pictures, too, and were silly. :)

The Golf Shack

Many people know that I work at the Mahoney State Park golf shack, and that I worked there last year. Some people say "Oh! That must be a pretty fun job!" And some take it to the other extreme: "That would be so boring, I don't think I could handle it." Well I must admit it has its share of boredom, where the minutes stretch into hours, and the hours into days. But overall, it is a really great job. The hours are incredible- I can basically schedule when I want to work. It is far from a strenuous job, with the most difficult task being driving the Gator...or picking up mini golf balls at the 18th hole...or dealing with customers who think their putter is too short. I get A LOT of reading done, as well as other various things such as origami, coloring, homework, thinking, and of course...taking photos! I thought I would share some of the best with you:

The bejeweled phone...covered with dust ;)

I thought these shadows were neat

The many colored miniature golf balls

One of lights...I took this on a very boring day

Last, but certainly not least, my favorite! Mini golf putters hanging on an overhead vent

So...spring break is Friday. I am very excited to have a break! All I have left to do before then is write a paper. The idea doesn't seem so bad, but the task itself is proving to be quite daunting. I sat on my laptop for a couple of hours tonight, but kept getting distracted. I believe I have...about 3/4 of the introduction completed. I am REALLY hoping that tomorrow everything will just kind of flow, because I don't have much time. Once I get it done, though, (providing I do) I will be on my way home, then on my way to Minnesota! Ahhh...wonderful. :) 

And once I get back to school, there will only be...about 7 weeks left. Wow. This year has gone by so quickly! To think I have nearly completed 1/4 of my college career...amazing. :)

My favorites

Since this is my first blog and I'm not sure what to write, I'm going to just post the words of my two favorite hymns.

Be Thou my Vision

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my wisdom, Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee, Thou with me Lord;

Thou my great Father, I thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,

Thou mine inheritance, now and always;

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Come, Thou fount of every blessing

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace,

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer,

Here by Thy great help I've come.

And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,

Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

Wandering from the fold of God,

He to rescue me from danger,

Interposed His precious blood.

O to Grace, how great a debtor,

Daily, I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above.