Big and small provision

I'm moving back to college soon and I've been looking for more dorm stuff throughout the summer. First of all, I've gotta say that when I get an idea I want to carry it out NOW. I literally drop everything to pursue a new project...this has its ups and downs. Sometimes being like this is good, because it is certainly a strong motivator. But it also can become an obsession...I cannot rest until I have done what I've set out to do.

So back to the search for more dorm supplies. I needed some plates that would be microwave safe. The problem is, most of the cutesy inexpensive ones aren't. I seriously looked and looked...everywhere...at nearly every store you can name. I was on a quest to find the perfect dinner plates to suit my dorm lifestyle.

Well, I didn't find them. Every time I found something I liked they were either not microwave safe or they were too breakable or too expensive or too flimsy. It drove me crazy not being able to find something I could so perfectly imagine/design in my mind! So I quit looking...I decided I could use paper plates (even though in my mind I was grumbling).

We were in South Dakota last week and were hungry one day, so we stopped at a tiny supermarket. I can't even tell you what it was named...it's wasn't Walmart, though. My family and I were browsing the aisles, looking for something to tide us over until dinner that night, when I found them. Them? Yes, them. $1.99 each, green and purple (the colors of my room), microwave safe, beautiful plates! I was so pumped! I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I was so happy. God provided me with what I needed, even wanted. Right down to the exact colors. Wow!

This may seem like a silly story, but to me it speaks volumes. If I can trust God to provide something as insignificant as dinner plates, how much more can I trust Him with the big matters in my life? Through this, God explained some of my worries. Frankly, I am worried and frantic about getting married. I know I'm young, but I feel as if I'm always on the lookout for someone. But God has revealed, through my little search for dinner plates, that if I stop worrying and stop busying myself with searching, He will provide. He wants me to trust Him. How can I trust if I continue to search on my own? I believe that, just like my beautiful green and purple plates, God has someone amazing out there for me. What do I have to do? Stop searching and trust. God doesn't disappoint.

Such hard work...

One of my jobs this summer is working at a craft center. We sell ceramics to paint, leather to stamp, and lots of various odds and ends. It's definitely a good time at the craft center, no doubt about it. Basically I get paid to listen to music, read, do my bible study, and paint. All I have to do is help out the customers in between. :)

Some ceramics don't sell as quickly, for a couple reasons. 1) Some of them are hideous. I don't know why people would ever want some of those things in their houses. 2) Some don't get noticed. It's always helpful to see a painted example...the customers are able to see what the finished piece would look like. So I painted quite a few this summer. And I took pictures.

Painting these was certainly fun, but I don't know if I would want to display them in my house! At least they'll get seen by tons of people where they are at :)

5 things you didn't know about me...

• I want to own a cat in a wheelchair. Accidents often happen, leaving animals disabled...I think most times they are simply put down, but I think it would be just great to have a little guy like this. 

• I don't like writing in a journal or a diary. When I sit down to write, I have way too much going through my head, so I try to write really, really fast. Because I write so quickly, my handwriting looks horrible! I'm such a perfectionist and I just can't stand to have my thoughts recorded in such an atrocious manner...ha! So I think that's a big part of why I like to blog; the font is all the same, no matter the speed.

• My family used to have 4 little Banty chickens. (from left to right: Poker, Chico, Chipper, and Pharaoh) I loved these little guys! Unfortunately, some kind of animal- we think it was a weasel- came and massacred them. Someday I hope to have some again!

• I don't like taking pictures unless they will be unique. I took some pictures of animals at the zoo the other day; I logged onto Facebook today and noticed that someone else had taken pictures of the same animals, from the same angle. I got so disgusted that mine were not unique that I probably won't save them. Also, I don't believe I'll ever get the urge to look at zoo pictures. I'd much rather see animals in real life!

• Someday I would love to be a professional organizer. I didn't know such a job even existed until a few days ago I read about it in a magazine. How cool would it be to get paid to organize stuff for people?! Back when I was about 7 or 8, I used to ask my grandma if she would like for me to sort/rearrange her kitchen cupboards and closet. I did it more than once, for no reward. I think this is a sign that I should consider organizing professionally. :)

More Fail!

Looking for these makes life great! Seriously.

What is "garge"? Is it short for garage? Or garbage?

I have a hobby of pronouncing words in a strange way. But I've never seen a misprint that does the same!

This camera did not alter this ad. The milk was seriously green. Perhaps in honor of the recent Shrek movie??

Wow! $0.0097! That IS a deal! (This picture came from my good friend Caitlin)

BM? No wonder this was in the clearance aisle. *snicker*

Now this is a WIN. This was written on one of the signs in our town a few years ago. I had completely forgotten about it until I was going through my photos last night. Love it!

We walk

I believe I've actually organized my thoughts enough to post something! Lately I've been thinking about so many things, but I feel like everything is too private to post publicly. I came to a realization today, though, about a verse that I've been familiar with for a long time and have never put much thought into.

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7

This verse is stenciled up on the wall at the youth center in my town. I was there tonight, just reading the walls (kids can sign their name and write something) and my eyes happened to land on that verse. I've seen it countless times, but never really read it. Today I thought about it...not the difference of faith and sight, but the first part of the verse. We walk.

It doesn't say "We run." It says we walk. And it's very true. Right now, it seems as if time is at a standstill. Although I believe I am trusting with faith, not by sight, I feel like I want the future to hurry up and get here so my anxious anticipation will be stilled. It seems like it is killing me not knowing who I will marry, or if I will at all. I need to know whether I'll like teaching, whether I'll be good at it, where I'll end up. Why is that? Why can't I be happy with the present? I am walking by faith, but wanting to run. 


However, running blindly is not such a good idea! That is why we walk...we take one day at a time, trusting Jesus, and are able to have the knowledge that He has wonderful plans for us...whatever they are.

No title?

Tonight, I'm forcing myself to write.

I feel like it's really difficult to actually post something. Don't get me wrong- it's not like I have nothing on my mind. I think it's because I have so much I cannot sort it out enough to create a meaningful, witty, or thought-provoking post. Throughout the day, I come up with different things I could write extensively on...but as soon as I turn on my computer I get distracted by other things and it seems like such a hassle to start writing at all.

I guess this post doesn't really have a point, but at least I got some of my thoughts sorted out, right? It's a start, and hopefully I will get inspired and stay inspired until the ideas move from brain to screen.

I never did write about getting hit in the face, did I? Well, this 4th of July was definitely an interesting one. Around midnight a few friends and I were swimming in my friend Taylor's lake. They have a floating dock out in the middle, and four of us swam out to it. I was holding onto one side, while- get this- 3 guys were on the other. One of them is pretty close to 300 pounds, I'm sure. So needless to say, my side of the dock was out of the water. I remember saying "Whoa! I feel like I'm on the Titanic." That should have been my clue to let go, but the thought didn't even cross my mind. Suddenly I slipped. That in itself wasn't bad, but next the really big guy slipped off, too. While I was under the water, the dock dipped down and hit me in the face. I saw a really bright white light and got so, so scared. I thought I was going to be knocked out and drown out in the middle of this lake in the middle of the night. Thankfully, God was watching out for me. I surfaced and then grabbed onto the dock, and told my friends I had been hit. They put me on the dock and pushed it back to shore. So many things could've been wrong...I could've had a broken nose, broken cheekbone...I could've been blinded...and I could've drowned. I am so fortunate that I only had a gash under my eye, some bruises, and a swollen/black eye! I had to go to the emergency room and get it glued shut. Out of every possible outcome, I was able to come away relatively unhurt. Thank you God!

It's kind of weird, though. Everything that happens to me happens on my left side. This accident hurt the left side of my face. I broke my tooth a while ago and it was the left front one. My splenectomy scar is on my left side. I had a fungus under my big left toe and eventually the nail fell off. I may be forgetting things, but the point is, it's strange.

Anyway, I am glad I could write something significant. If you read this, thanks for reading! =]

Contentment eludes me...

I don't really know where to begin...I guess I'll just start with the fact that this summer is different than all my previous summers.

For starters, it's my first summer single again since 2 years ago. I got so used to having a best friend who would constantly accompany me on new adventures that I really miss it now. Really a lot.

Also, this summer I have been working non-stop. In a near literal sense. It's cause for a celebration when I have a day off. I'm not complaining, no, not at all, but it's just different. I feel like I should earn my keep to the max when I have the opportunity, since my parents are so selflessly paying for my schooling.

Putting those two factors together, you may be able to see how easy it is for me to feel kind of hopeless. It feels like all I do is work, work, work...yet for what? So I can have spending money for the school year? So I can get through school...but then what? Go out into the real world and get a job, just like everyone else. Right now, at this point in my life, it is very difficult to see what purpose my life has/will have. I'm not saying that I think there isn't one, but it's just tough to find it. Obviously I can't see it (that's why faith is not by sight), but I also can't feel it. With all this working, my life seems so out of control.

I guess a big thing is contentment. I'm in this transition period of my life. In these next 10 years or so, some of the biggest changes of my life will most likely take place. Graduating for good, getting a real job, a house, a car, insurance, maybe marriage, kids. I feel so in between, and not content with this waiting stage.

I want so desperately to have contentment. It's a very deep desire of mine to be at ease with whatever situation I'm in, and not wish for something more or something different. I realize this constant striving is human nature, and I really wish to get past that. There are fleeting moments when I am okay, but slowly that discontentment starts to creep back in. And it bothers me to no end. So my prayer is that I will work heartily unto the Lord, that I will rejoice always, and be anxious about nothing. I alone can't do this, but with God I can.