I've been reading "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot as of late. I find it kind of funny, actually, because when I was younger I thought it would be a dumb old-fashioned book. How wrong I was! It is an incredible book, chock full of helpful insights and outlooks for single people. I have found that many of my own thoughts are in the book, as well, which is comforting to know I'm not alone in my thinking.
Recently breaking up with my boyfriend was tough, but right after I kind of took on the attitude of "It's okay. God's got someone even better out there." This may be true, but I was holding on tight to the hope of getting married someday. Since I was still holding onto that, God didn't have everything. I wanted to give Him everything, but I was so, so afraid that singleness might be permanent for me. Eventually and very gradually, I've been learning to give EVERYTHING over to Him. One of my fears was described exactly in an entry in Elisabeth Elliot's journal- "Read about Henry Martyn of India, who had to choose between the woman he loved and the mission field. Shall I have to choose between marriage and mission?" That fear overwhelms me from time to time, but then I remember (with the help from so many wonderful Psalms) that God knows best and WANTS best for me! What an assurance that is, which in return creates such joy. Joy in the possibility of singleness? Yes, it is possible. Not easy, though! Giving all parts of your life to God is difficult...another quote from the book says "The bringing of our unruly wills and affections into order- will cost us something." Although I haven't experience all the benefits of fully trusting God yet, I know for a fact it is always worth it.
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You were right... this was really good, and something that I think I needed to hear. Thanks for writing Kimber, and thanks for always being you and always thinking. :)
ReplyDeleteThat book is challenging. I had one particularly tough breakup. Had fallen in love with the idea of being together, but it became clear ours was not a match for a healthy marriage and family. So the falling-out-of-love with that idea took some time. God is good, growing us when and where we least expect.
ReplyDeletethanks ma'am!!! i'm sooo glad we have each other to get through this! idk what i'd do withoutcha! both of the comments preceding me are very valid! i will add to yours and their points with something that comforts me daily. "He is, He was, He always will be. even when it feels like there is no one holding me, be still my soul, HE IS!"
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