Conflict.

Are you ever so overwhelmed by life and emotion that you cannot even find the words to describe what is bombarding you? I am feeling that way now. I'm not yet sure what my mind is holding inside that is so violent, but I am hoping to soon find the words to describe it. I think part of it is the never-ending conflicting opinions and interests of everyone on this earth...but I haven't quite thought it out. All I know is that these differing thoughts weary me so.

I need to think through some thoughts and come to a point where I can digest all that is in my mind. Right now all I do to handle it is hold it inside without reasoning with myself and seeking truth, then when it becomes so overwhelming I go and have a cry. I want to come to the point where that is no longer necessary. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone at all, but this is what is happening (and has happened several times in the past). These conflicting thoughts occupy my mind until I can create my own philosophies- something that my mind can make sense of.


I've already posted this before, but this describes exactly my circumstance.

The colors swirl incessantly in my head

A black watercolor, a white oil paint

They churn and turn about, never mixing, always shifting

Two emotions, these are

How can there be two so different, but yet they inhabit the mind concurrently?

A sheep

Its wool

With it I weave a tapestry, completely and solely white

Without a trace of tainted black

But the black still dances in my head

A bare, white wall

It screams excruciatingly as I pass it

With a black marker, I cover it

So the white no longer looks through

And the black leaves my mind

But oh, the mind

There is no black, no white

Only empty thoughts that soar higher than a bird

But that emptiness feels good

And only then am I truly satisfied